10 Ways For Men To Beat The Male Friendship Recession And Connect With Others

Despite living in a world that is more connected than ever, it can be difficult to form meaningful relationships and no matter what stage of life you're in - young or old, single or in a relationship - most of us will have times when we feel lonely.

And studies have shown that it can be especially difficult to connect with others if you’re a man. 

 

 

Surveys show that there’s a friendship recession happening and it’s hitting hard, with men feeling the impact more than women. In America, the number of men without a close friend has increased fivefold over the past three decades, from 3% to 15% between 1990 and 2021. And it might be a cliché, but men on the whole just aren’t particularly good at talking about their feelings or reaching out for support, and when they do form friendships it takes more effort for them to hold onto these emotional connections. 

A study from Oxford University shows that women are more likely to meet up with one another, they flourish with one-to-one contact and can keep friendships going with just phone calls. Men on the other hand, need to make more of an effort to bond by doing stuff together, such as going to a football match or going to the pub for a drink. A quick chat on the phone just won’t cut it. 

But making new friends or getting together with old mates is easier said than done if the cycle of loneliness has started to take hold. So we’ve got some ideas to help men combat the friendship recession and make more meaningful connections with like-minded people. 

 

 

1.  Walk With Men's Odyssey.

Men's Odyssey has created a community for Guernsey men where they can get together once a fortnight to walk, connect and make time to 'step into nature' together. Whether it's for conversation or quiet reflection, it’s an opportunity to step away from your usual routine to unwind and connect - maybe even enjoy a sea swim along the way. 

 

2.  Visit The Men’s Shed.

Men's Shed Guernsey provides a place for men to socialise and keep busy, enhancing their sense of purpose and wellbeing. It’s a space where men can get together for tea and biscuits or bacon butties and banter. Friendly advice is on hand while they get busy making things with the tools and equipment that’s on hand, joining in with group projects or working on something of their own.

 

3.  Get Back Into Sport.

For a small island, Guernsey punches above its weight when it comes to sporting opportunities, for all levels. If you’ve been out of the loop fitness wise for a while, there are still opportunities out there. Walking football maybe, or a parkrun? Sea swimming has also grown in popularity in recent years and Guernsey Swim All Seasons posts daily meet ups, offering you the chance to enjoy a safe and social sea swim. If the gym is your thing, there's always someone there you can chat with. Even if it’s just a nod or a quick hello to start with, it’s still a step in the right direction. 

 

4.  Join The Man Club.

Man Club is a space where guys can get together to talk - or just listen. It was set up in 2017 when a local man decided to open his home to men to come and talk openly about how they were feeling. Pretty soon he found he was running out of coffee cups, so they moved to a larger space and they’ve been providing a safe meeting space for men to talk openly - and confidentially - ever since about what’s going on in their lives. 

 

5.  Become A Volunteer.

Volunteering not only helps the local community, it can also benefit you. If you find the right fit, it’s a good way to meet like minded people, make friends, learn new skills… the list goes on! There’s a central volunteering hub in Guernsey where you can see which charities or organisations are currently looking for volunteers, or reach out to a club or corporation that interests you to see if they need help. From first aid or transport services to animal care or conservation, it’s worth taking a look to see if there’s a good match for you.

 

6.  Sign Up To The List.

Take a proactive approach to your wellbeing and stay informed by signing up for our weekly newsletter on our website. Yes, our primary audience is female, but our newsletters are packed full of wellbeing content - like this! - and there’s a weekly Things To Do section that lets you know what’s happening around the island. 

 

7.  Visit The U3A.

The u3a is an informal organisation for men (and women) who want to connect with others during retirement, encouraging more mature individuals to stay engaged and make friends by sharing their experience and skills with like minded people. Formerly known as the University of the Third Age, it was launched in 2015 and now has over a thousand members locally. With over 80 different groups to choose from, it’s an opportunity to find a new hobby or revisit a past interest. You can find out more here.

 

8.  Drop Into A Talking Cafe.

Talking Cafes are an informal way to meet people and find out about activities and support on the island. You can pop by for a quick chat and a cuppa, or stay and talk to someone from the Health Connections team who will fill you in things what groups and services might be relevant for you. You don’t need to register or plan ahead, just turn up on the day.

 

If it’s anxiety about social situations that is making you feel isolated,get in touch with Healthy Minds. They offer short-term therapeutic interventions for adults who have mild to moderate anxiety and depression.

Guernsey MIND also offers a range of support services which can help you explore and understand your feelings of loneliness.