How To Prepare Your Kids - And Yourself - For Their Time At University

As parents and carers, we support our kids to grow into resilient and confident young adults, trying our best to equip them with the skills and confidence they need to head out into the world and make their own way in life. For many, the first true experience of independence comes when they head off to university and have to look after themselves.

It’s a huge change for any young adult, and the move away from island life brings with it an extra layer of excitement - or complexity, depending on your perspective! Together with Cherry Godfrey we’ve come up with a list of ways you can help them - and help yourself - to prepare for the financial, practical and emotional challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.

1. The Costs.

Let’s dive straight in with one of the biggest considerations - the cost of a university education. Supporting your offspring to study for a degree is an expensive business, not least because it generally involves a move off island. Course fees will vary, but it’s typically around £9,250 per year to study in the UK. And of course, the total costs extend way beyond this when you factor in accommodation, travel and living expenses.

Financial support may be available from the States for some students, and there are also private student loan options available to support or supplement student finances, for both on and off island study. Speak to the experts who can help you plan for this new chapter and create a bespoke financial plan that works for you.

2. The Additional Costs.

You should also plan to cover the costs of things like study materials and devices, course resources and field trips, depending on the type of degree your youngster has signed up for. Sports and social activities can also be costly, although if they’re linked to the university they are probably quite reasonably priced.

There will also be one off costs that you need to think about, such as bedding, kitchen essentials and bathroom basics - even stocking up on store cupboard staples and toiletries can be quite pricey if it’s all bought in one hit. On a positive note, there’s a lot more competition between retailers in the UK, so you can find these things quite a bit cheaper than you would locally. And, as obvious as it sounds, check before you buy. The list of requirements will differ if your child is living in halls of residence rather than a flat share.

3. The Travel Plans.

How students travel to their new place of study makes a big difference to how much they can take with them, as opposed to how much they’ll have to buy when they get there. You’ll fit a lot more in a car than you will in a suitcase! But on that note, did you know that Aurigny has a free additional baggage allowance for students? You can find out more here.

However you get there, as with any trip off island the sooner you book the better price you’re likely to get. So find out the term dates - allowing for freshers week and for exam timetables - and book your travel early if possible. It’s also sensible to have a contingency fund for any unexpected travel costs. Like an extra trip to the mainland to see them during term time… Yes, this one is more for the parents and carers than it is for the students!

4. The Student Budget.

Try to spend time with your child before they go, to help them hone the skills they’ll need to manage their own finances and learn basic budgeting strategies. Although you may be paying course fees or accommodation fees directly to the university, they will have to cover their day to day finances by themselves, probably for the first time ever.

And it may sound obvious, but the money that’s paid into their account has to last for the whole term - if not for the whole year - so they need to understand how to spend it wisely and not burn through a big chunk of it in freshers week! Money Saving Expert Martin Lewis has a student budgeting planner and lots of practical tips that can help them get their budget in order from day one.

5. The Student Discounts.

There are lots of discounts and free offers that students can cash in on. For example, students can benefit from free local travel in many UK towns and city, and there are also discounted schemes if they’re travelling further afield. It’s also worth looking at the many different mobile phone schemes in the UK so they don’t run up huge bills when they’re using data.

Many shops, restaurants and entertainment venues also have student discount schemes. A quick online search for free student services and discounts in their area is a good place to start, and they’ll find out lots more when they hit the ground and talk to their fellow students.

6. The Life Skills.

Equipping your kids with the domestic skills they’ll need, such as cooking, cleaning and doing laundry, is something you may have already been doing over the years. Maybe not. Either way, they'll find themselves fending for themselves once they move away, and they'll do it their own way. Some may be relishing the opportunity to prepare meals for themselves and eat at times that suit them. They may not be eating the same things that you would eat together as a family, and they might not be doing the washing up or washing their clothes as often as you would like, but that’s all part of growing up and living independently.

And at the end of the day, it’s up to them. They’ll get by, even if they’re not living up to the same standards they’re used to at home. One thing is for certain, they will appreciate you a whole lot more when they come back.

7. The Practical Stuff.

Beyond the realms of their new home, there are certain practical matters that students need to deal with in their early days at uni to ensure their wellbeing. For example, they will need to register with a healthcare practice. Their university will send them details of how to do this, and provide them information about student welfare services to make it as easy as possible for them to get organised in this respect. It's important to remember that your child is now an adult, so data protection regulations will apply and university staff won't discuss their progress or any welfare matters with you unless they have written permission to do so.

Personal safety is another thing that universities are more switched onto these days and all new students are given information on how to stay safe in their accommodation, on campus and in their new town, with relevant contact numbers in case of emergency. There are also lots of personal safety apps that can help them to stay safe, online and while they’re out and about.

8. The Emotional Highs and Lows.

The university years can be an exciting and a happy time, full of promise and new adventures. But there’s a lot of pressure on students to dive straight in and embrace ‘the best years of their life’ and everyone experiences the first weeks of university differently. New faces, new surroundings, new expectations - it’s a lot. And moving away from the familiarity of their island home adds another layer of ‘newness’. So it’s perfectly normal to feel a bit overwhelmed, especially when social media makes it look like everyone else is living their best life.

Celebrate the highs with your child, but also be available for them at times when they’re feeling anxious or homesick at times. Life is going to feel stressful at times, especially when exams come around, so remind them that you are there for them and that there are support services available through the university. They won’t be the only ones who are feeling this way. Keeping in touch with family and friends back home can also help. With so much change in such a short time it’s good to stay connected with a few familiar faces.

9. The Empty Nest.

It’s an equally emotional time for parents and carers. On the one hand, there’s a feeling of pride and a sense of accomplishment as you watch your loved one embark on a new and exciting time in their life. You might share that sense of excitement as you too enter a new chapter and look forward to the freedom that comes with an empty nest. But you might be feeling anxious about how they will cope on their own, maybe even feeling a sense of loss. It’s understandable - you can’t just flick a switch and stop worrying about them overnight after almost two decades of looking after them.

So be kind to yourself. Take some time to adjust and to recognise your feelings. Is it all about them, or has their move away coincided with other things that are going on in your life?

And remember, your feelings are yours and yours alone, so don’t project your emotions onto your child. It’s good to talk about how you are both feeling, but they will have their own things going and they don’t need to be burdened with your feelings. Yes, it’s important to stay in touch and be supportive, but once they’ve settled there may be times when you need to back off and trust that they'll come to you if and when they need you.