Why 20-Somethings Feel Lonely (And How You Can Help)

If you're in your late teens or twenties and feeling lonely, you're certainly not the only one. In fact, the most recent Guernsey Quality of Life Report found that 16 to 24-year-olds are the loneliest age group on the island.

It's probably not what most of us would expect. After all, these are the years we're often told should be full of freedom, friendship and possibility. Yet for many people, they're also a time of uncertainty and change.

Part of what makes this so surprising is that we're more connected than ever before. Through social media and messaging apps, we're rarely more than a few taps away from other people. Yet many people in their late teens and twenties say they feel disconnected or unsure where they fit in. Whether you're navigating university, work, changing friendships or simply figuring out your next chapter, it can be a surprisingly lonely stage of life.

So let's take a closer look at what's happening and, importantly, what can help.

 

 

What Loneliness Looks Like in Your 20s

Loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone. We all know you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. It’s about feeling emotionally disconnected and lacking meaningful relationships or a sense of belonging.

You might feel as though you don't quite fit in, or find yourself comparing your life to friends who seem to have everything figured out while you're still trying to find your feet, build new friendships or settle into work.

There's often an expectation that your twenties should be exciting and full of possibility. So when you're feeling lonely or uncertain, it can seem as though everyone else has life figured out except you, making it even harder to say:  ‘Actually, I’m lonely.’

 

 

Why It’s Happening

There isn't one simple reason why so many people in their late teens and twenties feel lonely. More often, it's a combination of things, from changes in living circumstances and financial pressures to periods of not being in employment, education or training.

For many people, these challenges can all arrive at once. Entry-level jobs don't always match the cost of living and, even if you're working, money worries can quickly become overwhelming.

We also know that Guernsey's high property costs mean many people in their twenties are living at home for longer than they expected. It's often the most practical option, but it can sometimes leave people feeling as though their lives are on hold or they're falling behind their peers.

Friendships also tend to shift dramatically during this stage of life. Some people move away, others settle down and priorities naturally change. Even people with lots of acquaintances can find themselves missing deeper, more consistent connections.

For some people, the way we work has changed too. Hybrid and remote working can offer plenty of benefits, but without colleagues around us every day, it can be harder to build friendships and feel part of a community.

 

The Digital Disconnect

We're more connected than ever online, but that doesn't always translate into feeling connected in real life.

With constant notifications, group chats and carefully chosen snapshots of other people's lives, it's easy to feel as though everyone else is having more fun, making more friends or somehow doing better than you are.

And when so much of our social interaction happens on a screen, it can become harder to build the real-life friendships that help us feel supported and less alone.

 

How You Can Help Someone in Their 20s Feel Less Alone

Whether you're supporting someone else or navigating loneliness yourself, these small steps can make a real difference.

1.  Start the conversation

Ask open-ended questions like: 'How are things really going for you right now?' or 'What's been the toughest part of the past few months?'

You don't need to fix it. Sometimes simply listening and being there can go a long way.

2.  Make it easy to say yes

A walk, a coffee or an invitation to a local event can help someone reconnect without the pressure of a big group or a busy social occasion.

3.  Encourage connections in real life

Suggest local clubs, sports, classes or volunteering. Not as a cure for loneliness, but as a way to rediscover enjoyment, confidence and a sense of belonging.

4.  Share your own experience

Letting someone know you also struggled in your twenties, and perhaps still do at times, can make it easier for them to open up. Loneliness feels less like a personal failing when we recognise it's a common human experience.

5.  Help them find support

If someone in their late teens or twenties seems persistently low or withdrawn, encourage them to speak to their GP or reach out to local services. Getting support early can make a real difference.

 

 

Local Ways to Make Connections

Making new connections isn't always easy, especially when you're feeling lonely. But Guernsey has plenty of welcoming groups, activities and spaces that can help make that first step feel a little easier.

Try Something New

The List's Things to Do page is packed with local events, workshops and experiences happening across the island. Many of the events featured are perfect for going along to on your own, making them an easy way to get out, try something different and potentially meet new people along the way.

Join a Book Club

Book clubs are a lovely way to meet people without the pressure of making conversation from scratch. Sharing a love of reading creates an instant talking point and many friendships begin over a cup of tea and a good book.

The Twenty Something Club

Created to make meeting people easier for women in their twenties, The Twenty Something Club has recently re-launched andoffering everything from beach walks to coffee catch-ups. It's a great way to connect with others who are at a similar stage of life and looking to make new friends too.

Take the Plunge

Sea swimming groups, including Guernsey Swim All Seasons, offer both movement and connection. And if joining a group feels daunting, The Bathing Pools can be a lovely place to start. It's one of those places where people often turn up alone and conversations happen naturally.

Give Volunteering a Go

Whether it's helping at an event, joining a beach clean or supporting a local charity, volunteering is a great way to meet like-minded people while doing something positive for your community.

Try a Solo Date

This might sound a little counterintuitive in an article about loneliness, but learning to enjoy your own company can be incredibly empowering. Taking yourself for a coffee, a walk or an exhibition can help build confidence and strengthen your relationship with yourself. And sometimes, simply getting out and about opens the door to unexpected conversations and connections.

Find the Right Support for You

If loneliness is starting to affect your confidence or wellbeing, remember that support is there if you need it. Speaking to your GP or reaching out to Guernsey Mind or Healthy Minds can be a helpful first step.

 

Reaching Out

Feeling lonely is far more common than many of us realise.

If someone in your life is struggling, don't underestimate the power of small gestures. A message, a coffee or a simple 'thinking of you' text can be enough to remind someone that they're not alone.