Why 20-Somethings Feel Lonely (And How You Can Help)

 

If you’re in your late teens or early twenties and feeling lonely, you are not alone. The Guernsey Quality of Life Report reveals that 16-24 year-olds are the loneliest age group in the island. 

Despite being digitally connected, socially active and seemingly surrounded by people, many are quietly struggling. It’s a stage of life that should feel full of freedom and promise, but for many young islanders, it’s a time marked by isolation, uncertainty and a lack of belonging.

 

 

For Guernsey as a whole, this matters deeply. Our children are growing up in a close-knit community but as they enter adulthood many report feeling unseen, unheard, or disconnected. Especially as they transition from full-time education into working life, juggling career pressures, changing social dynamics, and coping with the challenges of online life.

If you’re a parent, employer, or simply someone who cares about the next generation, it’s time to take notice. So let’s take a closer look at what’s happening and, importantly, how we can help young adults in our community to feel more connected.

 

What Loneliness Looks Like in Your 20s.

Loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone. We all know you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. It’s about feeling emotionally disconnected and lacking meaningful relationships or a sense of belonging.

This can show up as feeling like you don’t quite fit in, or going through the motions socially but still feeling empty. It’s easy to compare yourself to peers who seem ‘ahead’, while you’re struggling to form new friendships at uni or to find your place at work.

And because this age group is often expected to be independent, confident, and thriving, they don’t always feel they have permission to say: ‘Actually, I’m lonely.’

 

 

Loneliness was more common among people who were living alone, struggling financially, not in employment, education or training, or had mental health issues.

Guernsey Quality of Life Report 2025

 

Why It’s Happening.

The report highlights several overlapping factors, including changes in living circumstances, financial struggles and not being in employment, education or training. 

For many young islanders, these pressures collide. Entry-level jobs may not match the cost of living, and even those in work can feel financially stretched. And while the report doesn’t specifically mention housing, we know that Guernsey’s high property costs mean many young adults are living at home longer. A practical decision, but one that can sometimes dent self-esteem or delay independence.

 

The Digital Disconnect.

Let’s talk about social media. Being online can create the illusion of connection, with constant notifications, group chats, and curated social media feeds. But many young people report that this only deepens the divide: they see others out and about, seemingly thriving, while they feel left out or stuck in comparison cycles.

And when most social interaction happens on-screen, it can be harder to build the kind of offline friendships that buffer against loneliness.

 

How You Can Help Someone in Their 20s Feel Less Alone.

Even if you're not in this age bracket yourself, there’s a lot you can do to support someone who is feeling lonely or disconnected.

1.  Start the conversation.

Ask open-ended questions like ‘How are things really going for you right now?’ or ‘What’s been the toughest part of the past few months?’ You don’t need to fix it. Just listening can go a long way.

2.  Offer low-pressure social opportunities.

A shared walk, a coffee, or an invite to a local event can help young adults re-engage without the overwhelm of large groups.

3.  Encourage real-life connection.

Suggest local clubs, sports, classes or volunteering. Not just as a solution to loneliness, but as a way to rediscover enjoyment and purpose.

4.  Model your own experience.

Letting someone know you also struggled in your 20s - and maybe still do - makes it easier for them to open up. Loneliness feels less like a failure when it’s seen as a common life experience.

5.  Help them access support.

If a young adult seems persistently low or withdrawn, encourage them to speak to their GP or reach out to local services. Early support can prevent long-term difficulties.

 

 

Local Ways to Make Connections.

Loneliness can feel like a closed door, but with the right encouragement, young people can find meaningful, low-pressure ways to open it again. Here are some local groups and spaces you can gently suggest or explore together, to help rebuild confidence, connection and a sense of community:

• The Twenty Something Club is a welcoming social group for women in their twenties in Guernsey, created to make meeting people easier. From beach walks to coffee catch-ups, it’s a great way to connect with others who get it

• Giving back is a powerful way to meet like-minded people. Whether it’s helping at events, beach cleans or community projects, volunteering is a gentle, feel-good way to build new circles.

• The local library is so much more than books. It hosts relaxed workshops, social groups and wellbeing events and is perfect if those looking for a calm, creative and community-based way to connect.

• The young person you’re supporting is experiencing anxiety, low mood or confidence issues alongside loneliness, encourage them to speak to their GP, or get in touch with Guernsey Mind or Healthy Minds, to find out more about services offering support for your mental health. 

 

Reaching Out.

Loneliness in your late teens or early twenties - or at any stage of your life - can quietly affect everything, from confidence and motivation to academic success and even physical health. But it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it just means you’re human. 

We all feel lonely at times. The important thing is knowing it doesn’t last forever, and you don’t have to face it alone. 

And if you’re someone in a position to help - a parent, a colleague or a friend - know that you don’t need to have all the answers. Just a quiet, consistent show of care. A message, an invitation to go for a walk or a simple ‘thinking of you’ text can be all it takes to help someone to feel seen, heard, and valued.