How To Maintain Balance During A Renovation Project

by guest contributor Kelly Priaulx

The upheaval of a home renovation can throw everything in your life off kilter, from upsetting your daily routine to putting a strain on your otherwise healthy relationship. No one knows this better than Kelly Priaulx, creator of the insightful and beautifully styled fiveandafarmhouse, who left a career in Architecture and Interior Design to raise her three children and renovate her 17th century Guernsey farmhouse whilst documenting it on her impeccably aesthetic Instagram account. We asked her to share her experience and offer some refreshingly honest advice on how to maintain balance (and the peace!) during your renovation works.

Over to you, Kelly...

 

 

1.  Maintaining… Yourself

Self-care is a difficult mindset to adopt, even without a home renovation added to the mix. Add in all the dust and dilemmas that a reno brings, and self-care becomes virtually impossible. 

One valuable thing to remember is that a renovation is an opportunity that only few home owners will have the chance to experience, as the decision to take on such a project involves a lot of planning, an alignment of life circumstances and often a leap of faith. If you’re a keen designer grateful of making your dream a reality then reciting a positive, thankful mantra every morning can set your day off in a level-headed and appreciative way. Think I am grateful (undoubtedly better for your mental health then questioning on a daily basis what you’ve signed up for…).  

Taking time for yourself during a self-directed renovation in particular is far from easy – physically and mentally. You will be running with your tail between your legs most days, and when you are not on site you’ll likely experience guilt about it. Try setting your morning alarm half an hour earlier than usual and get out on a brisk walk for at least twenty minutes before the chaos starts; long enough to get your endorphins pumping, but not so long that everyone wonders where you’ve disappeared to.

I would also recommend an indulgent bubble bath once a week and a good supply of your favourite chocolate, but that’s just me.

 

2.  Maintaining… Kids

Living through a renovation when it is just you or a partner is one thing. Trying to do the same things, in the same timeframe and at the same pace, when you’ve got a baby or children? Never. Going. To. Happen. These little life curveballs do the same thing for a renovation. It’s time to put your patience-pants on. 

I’ve been renovating since my youngest was six months old. My oldest is now eight, and we’re still going, so I’ve endured it all. If you have a team of tiny humans to hand and you’re wondering how you are going to do it, I’m here to tell you that you can. 

Talk it through with them. Things go more smoothly if everyone is on the same page, so explain that home life will be a little bit different for a while but it’s an adventure and that whilst unconventional, the life experiences are endless. Highlight the physical implications (certain rooms will be out of bounds etc) but make sure to give them a space they feel mentally safe in, even if it’s just a corner where they can safely read a book or do a puzzle. If they know their boundaries, that’s one weight off your shoulders. 

It is easy to take control of the works (because why wouldn’t you?) but try to involve your children in your renovation decisions. Even if it seems simple to you - like the paint colour for a bedroom - giving them a say will not only make them feel special and part of the team, it will also keep them occupied for a little while, allowing you to get on with the adult-only decisions.

 

 

3.  Maintaining… Health

If you find yourself reaching for the takeaway menu during your renovation, draw that hand back in quick-sticks. There’s no denying there will come days or times that a takeout is the only feasible option, but falling in to the trap of ordering in every night whilst you are on site is a slippery slope. One that neither your body nor your mind will thank you for.

Instead, preparation is key, particularly if you are renovating with a young family in tow or you are without a working kitchen. At the start of every week write a list of your meals for each day, and ensure that each one can be cooked quickly and without a mountain of pots and pans (you’ll be grateful for this come dish-wash time if you don’t have a working sink or dishwasher, trust me). Choose salads over cooked sides, and food you can eat with your fingers (think tacos and filled wraps) to limit dishes and cooking time. (Note: it’s totally okay to feel feral.)

If you are self-renovating, the chances are the work is going to be gruelling and laborious. You will want to choose meals that cater for all the extra energy you’re burning, but won’t have you reaching for the snack drawer late at night. Go for plenty of carbohydrates and protein. 

I survived with a single plug-in hob, one air fryer, no working sink or hot water and al-fresco dining whatever the weather, for five weeks. Meals got repetitive, but they were healthy and filling and I only had one minor meltdown over a flyaway salad. We still call it taco-gate to this day. 

 

4.  Maintaining… Relationships

How do you dedicate the same amount of time to your existing relationships, now that you’ve taken on a monster of a renovation? We might as well call a renovation project a time and energy sucker, because that’s exactly what it will do. So your friends don’t think you are ghosting them, keep them up to speed with everything that’s happening. It’s all too easy to get inside your head and not share what’s happening at home because of a fear of boasting or coming across wrong. Put that aside, and share photos with your friends, invite them around regularly to see how the progress is going. Involving them will go some way to them understanding that you cannot attend every social function, whether it is because of financial implications or time factors. Having said that, popping out for a coffee is good for you so don't forget to say yes occasionally!

If you are embarking on your renovation journey with a partner then it can raise other issues. There will be tense moments, heated moments, you may argue and cry. You’ll be living together, working together, and when things don’t go to plan you may find yourself directing your frustration at each other, rather than other factors. I’m here to tell you it is completely normal. Don’t let a disagreement over a plug socket placement send you spiralling. Keep reminding yourself why you are doing this, and keep talking. Is it for you, for the future of your family, or for finances? Whatever the reason, remember that you once thought it would be a good idea (and will be once done!)

 

 

5.  Maintaining… Work

When you have found your perfect renovation project, it would be the dream to dedicate every waking minute to achieving it. Unfortunately, that’s not likely to happen. To finance the renovation project, most of us have to work equally hard elsewhere to make it possible. 

Staying organised in both aspects of your life is the key to achieving balance here. Knowing what needs to be achieved and when, will go a long way to streamlining your pile of to-do lists. 

And be flexible. Something could crop up at work that has a knock-on effect on what you were hoping to achieve at your renovation. Be prepared for disappointment and accept it when it happens, but don’t sink into it and let it affect you emotionally. 

Oh, and your boss may also appreciate flowers and chocolates as bribery for an early end-of-play, I’m just saying…

 

 

Meet Kelly

Hi! I'm Kelly, aka wife to one, mum to three, daughter to two and sister to three. In 2015 I left a career in Architecture and Interior Design to raise my children. In 2019, unable to leave the design world behind, I started my Instagram @fiveandafarmhouse to satisfy my creative cravings and give me an outlet that wasn’t related to a pint sized human (or a very needy – but very cute – full sized one). My blog followed shortly after when I realised that, whilst my husband doesn’t share my enthusiasm for blue chairs and wooden ducks, some people out there do!